His eyes fluttered open, but he could see nothing. It was black.
What time is it, that it would be so dark?
His bed felt a little strange this morning. Aaron looked over to his right where the alarm clock usually was, but he couldn’t see the sharp green numbers.
There must have been a power outage.
Aaron tried to get up, but something was holding him down. No, someone, was holding him down, and roughly.
He yelled, but registered no sound. Lashing around, something slipped over his face. He tried to rip it off but in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, he was out.
-~-
He dreamed about his parents. His mother’s fluffed blond hair; his father’s thinning black hair. They were both on some diet, but Aaron thought only his dad really needed it. His mother’s soft, sweet voice called his name and asked him what he thought of her new outfit. Aaron smiled and walked over to his mother and gave her a big hug. He woke up, though, before he could reach his father.
The lights dimmed, and when his eyes opened, all was black again. Aaron remembered what happened before, how he had been held down. He tried to rise, but his hands were bound this time. Looking around, he could see nothing, but he smelled his mother’s perfume.
She was untying his wrists.
How did she find me?
He tried to call for his mom, but he heard no sound. She came over to him, though, and hugged him. Aaron knew for sure this was his mom, since the hug felt much the same as in the dream. He could feel something wet --her tears-- on his cheek, but he could hear nothing. And he still couldn’t see her. Her bristly hair tickled his nose, and the hairspray was a much needed familiar scent. He tried to whisper to her, asking what was going on, but he couldn’t hear himself. He asked louder, and louder, but at his loudest, he could hardly make out the muffled words. More tears fell on Aaron’s face as his mother wouldn’t let go. He could smell his father’s aftershave coming closer, too. Something was wrong.
Aaron’s head felt dizzy, and he fell back to sleep.
-~-
Another dream. This time, he was in his own bed. When he woke up, he saw his bright green room and heard his alarm clock ringing. When he looked around, though, only his room was in the light. Everything else was dark and dreary. He burrowed into his soft blankets and prayed for the nightmare to end.
It did, surprisingly, with a loud noise.
Aaron awoke to a bang. He was still in darkness, but he definitely heard the bang.
“Mom,” he called as he sat up sharply.
He felt a pounding pain in his head so he lay back down. Aaron heard his mother scramble over to him.
“Aaron?” she asked in her tear-choked voice.
“Mom! Where are you? What’s going on?” Aaron held his arms out for his mother to take. Aaron felt her sit next to him, her cold hands grabbed his.
“We’re at the doctor’s office, honey. You were in an accident.”
“You mean, we aren’t in some dark room?”
“The lights are on,” Aaron’s dad said from the other side of the bed.
“So...so what does that mean? I’m.....blind?”
Silence.
That means I’m right.
And he wept until he felt drowsy and fell back to sleep again.
-~-
Aaron didn’t wake for a few days, and he didn’t leave the hospital for a few months.
A switch had been turned off in his eyes, and the doctors didn’t quite know what the problem was. They told Aaron that it could have been caused when he banged his head on the side window of the car, or even when he slammed into the seat’s headrest. Either way, he was blind, and he probably would be for the rest of his life.
On his first day home, he spent most of his time in his bedroom. He felt around the walls to get to the bathroom, and he called for his mother when he needed food.
Once, he almost tripped down the stairs, so his parents moved him into their room on the first floor. His friends visited him once or twice, but soon they stopped coming altogether. All but two friends, anyway: Kathrine and Eric. They were his best friends since Kindergarten, and they really showed their colors after the accident. They came to his house every day after school or church, and talked to him about the recent gossip.
On one warm, damp Wednesday with that after-the-rain scent lingering in the air, Kathrine asked Aaron (for the thousandth time) if he wanted to go to youth group that night. This time, he decided he would try. The car ride there was uneventful, but Aaron felt really weird. The last time he was in a car was the day he was brought home from the hospital. He hadn’t dared venture out farther than a walking distance away. But with Kathrine asking him, and with his year of training, he decided he would try. They arrived at the church, and Eric and Kathrine helped him into the building.
“Aaron?” one of the students said, running up to the three as they entered.
“Yes?” Aaron said, not knowing what else to say. He didn’t recognize the voice.
“Nice to meet you. I have heard a lot about you.”
From who? Kathrine or Eric?
Aaron knew that the answer to that question would let him know if the student, a girl, would be sympathetic, or annoyed by him. He decided that Kathrine would be the most likely to talk about him, though.
“Oh, all good I hope.” Yeah that is good small talk. I’m out of practice.
She laughed. “I’m Nicolette, and I just want to let you know that I’m here for you if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” he said.
Kathrine and Eric dragged him all over the place, and everyone was coming up to him saying, “Hi Aaron,” or, “You must be Aaron.” He felt awkward the whole time, since everyone was probably talking behind his back.
“Alright, we are about to start worship, so if you could come over here we will get started,” someone said to Aaron’s right.
“That’s the youth pastor. We call him Schmitt ‘cus of his last name,” Kathrine said. “He’s really good.”
Aaron hadn’t heard from Eric for a little while so he figured Eric was off somewhere with other friends. Kathrine slowly pulled Aaron to the front, and the music started. Aaron had not listened to music since the accident, and this was a huge relief. The singer was great.
“Who is that singing?” Aaron whispered to Kathrine.
“Eric.”
“What? I didn’t know he was a singer!”
“It’s kind of new. You have been inspiring us all to go after what we want since the accident. We know life is short and we’ve been making the most of what we have. You got virtually the whole band up there. Another kid started painting murals and portraits for people, and she painted the whole wall over there in honor of you. You’re a legend.”
“You’re joking right?”
“No, I’m serious. We all think you are so brave, so we’ve been putting ourselves out there too. And this youth group has only gotten better because of it.”
I’m not brave at all. I’m a coward for not wanting to even leave my house. But I’m here today aren’t I?
The music ended and everyone took their seats quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace that had entered the room.
“Thank you, worship band,” Schmitt said, and he began his message. It was about preaching the gospel to everyone who didn’t know God.
Near the end, Schmitt said, “Guys, get this; darkness can’t be broken without light. If we’re supposed to bring these guys into the light and show them the gospel, there will be no darkness left, but if we don’t put ourselves out there, there is nothing but darkness.”
But I have to deal with darkness either way, so what’s the point? I mean, my therapist said that one day there might not even be blackness left, that there will be nothing, and I will not even notice that nothing is there. But I’m in the dark now, and I don’t know if that will ever change --if I will have no more dark to be in. But it’s still black. There is no light. Not for me.
“Guys, this ‘light’, it breaks all darkness.”
Even mine?
Everyone clapped.
“Guys, we need to be relentless with those in the dark. We need to bring them our fire, show them the light of Christ! Until every single person is saved and on the path to heaven. And in heaven, there is nothing but light.”
“Even for me?” Aaron said.
Everyone got quiet.
Did I say that out loud?
Schmitt walked over to Aaron and put his thumbs on his eyes.
“Through Jesus Christ, even for you.”
And, just like that, Aaron could see. The light was relentless, as darkness can’t stand against a relentless light.
“Oh, my beautiful God!” Aaron screamed.
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